Vroom, Vroom

I can't remember a time when I wasn't fascinated by cars. Fast cars. I would pour over car magazines and dream about owning Porsches and Ferraris. I memorized specs and the profiles of cars so that I could name the make, model, and year of cars I saw driving by. I remember compromising with myself that I would never spend more than a years salary on a car. What sweet dreams of childhood!

I still love cars, but my passion is tempered by the realities of a too-small paycheck, house mortgage, and 3 children. I still have the same bittersweet longing for a Porsche 911 as a boy for his dead dog. A few years ago I whined enough to my wife that she let me buy a decent car. I was able to buy a 3 year old Volkwagon Passat. (The picture to the side is not my car, but looks a lot like it. Mine is far too winter-dirty to show right now) It has a smallish 1.8 liter engine, but it does have a turbo. It's a blast to drive around in and the handling is tight. The engine likes to rev and it has great brakes. It's silver, as every good German car should be, and has a slight family resemblance to a 911(or so I like to delude myself). I really like this car. I am so happy with this car that I haven't felt the need to attend the car show for a few years. That is big!

Over the holidays, My wife and I went on a trip to Phoenix. Guess what I got to drive while I was there?

No, sadly it wasn't a Porsche.

The Bulbous Beak
I did get to rent a car, and ended up with a really good one- the 3.5 liter Nissan Maxima. The Maxima has always been a favorite of mine. They have always had the clean styling, good handling, and great power to fall into the 'cool car' category. I fit in the car pretty well, fitting in a car is always dicey for my 6 foot 8 inch body. My right leg was jammed a bit too tight into the space between the wheel and the console, but it was livable for a few days. I know that you average-sized people can fit your legs under the steering wheel, but I have experienced that only in large pickups that I would never own.
My first enjoyable moment was the freeway on ramp next to the rental location. A big semi was lumbering up the ramp, and there was a little room to pass before the lanes merged. It would have been dicey in my Passat. "What the heck", I thought, "it's a rental." I floored it and, gee golly, it took off. I passed the semi with no problems and was up to freeway speeds with a big grin on my face. My wife just shook her head at me.

Speaking of her head, my wife couldn't get comfortable in the car. The Maximas have an unusual head rest that sticks out into the area where her head would usually reside. My head was well above the problem area , but it really bothered her.
The freeway ride was nice. The car is powerful and smooth, and you really feel in control. In control, that is, until you try to park the beast. One reason that the ride is so smooth is that the wheelbase is long. It also has an enormous hood that sticks out like Barbara Streisand's big beak. I don't think I successfully parked it once during my 5 days of driving. I'd aim for the spot and miss, requiring an embarrassing backup/try again mulligan.
One feature that was new to my wife and I was the dual temperature zones. She is always freezing and I am always hot (a common complaint, I know). With this car, we could set independent temperatures for our individual side of the car. It worked pretty well and both of use were comfortable.

Another dislike was the 'sunroof', which was more of a skylight. The image shows the skinny little window they've put in the roof. It did let in some light, but you couldn't open it. I love the fresh air from a sunroof, especially in a warm area like Phoenix, and this was a disappointment.

Overall, I liked the Maxima, but I would never buy it.

Carmageddon
We stayed in Phoenix with my wife's brother and his family. He also likes fancy cars and, unlike me, has the means to purchase them. He has a Chrysler 300. I've driven those before, and was impressed. I really like the styling and they are pretty powerful. The standard 300 did feel a bit heavy, though.

I didn't realize, however, that he had purchased the 300 SRT-8. And I didn't realize what that means. It means a LOT. It means a 6.1 liter V8 with 425 horsepower and 420 lb-ft of torque. It means being just a little bit scary to drive, just a little bit.

I was following his SUV and I let him get a little bit ahead of me so I could see how the car could accelerate. When I had about 100 feet of clear road in front of me, I hit the gas. The demons of the 7 hells awoke and started screaming from under the engine department. I was crushed back into the seat as the car lifted up and started to rocket down the road. In just a few seconds the empty road was gone and I had to slam on the brakes to avoid smashing into the SUV. I started breathing again and tried to absorb what had just happened. "Why do guys like that so much?", Asked my wife. As I turned to ask her what she meant, I caught a glimpse of my refection in the rear view mirror. There was a huge smile on my face, like a kid at the end of a roller coaster ride. "I dunno", I replied, "didn't you like it too?" She just rolled her eyes.

We continued on our drive to my brother in law's work. There was a lot of joyous acceleration and the demons from the 7 levels of hell were getting whiplash. When we got to our destination, he said, "Now watch this." He took the keys and started the engine of his hot rod. One important point of the story is that this car has an automatic transmission, not a manual. He pushed a button on the dash and said, "watch what happens when I turn off the traction control."

Traction control, for the uninitiated, is a method of controlling wheelspin in modern cars. Usually an onboard computer compares the speed of the four wheels to the current speed and accleration of the car. If it determines that a wheel is slipping, it engages the anti-lock brakes for that wheel until the slipping gets under control. Some very expensive cars will actually reduce the power sent to the wheel, but I don't think the 300 SRT-8 does that.

He put the car in drive and smashed the accelerator. This car, with an automatic transmission, broke loose both rear tires and we peeled out across the parking lot. The rear end started to move sideways and a huge cloud of white tire smoke rose over the parking lot. Wow, this is some car. He turned it around and did it again. Carmageddon!

I have never ridden in a car this fast, let alone driven one. It is an amazing vehicle. This is not only an amazingly fast car, but a lot of work has been done on the suspension and brakes. The wheels are enormous- The top of the tire was above my kneecap. The tires are wide and low profile and I'm sure very expensive (we probably burned up $50 in tires in that parking lot that beautiful December morning.) I didn't drive it on the freeway, so I can't comment on the ride, but I imagine it is wonderful. I remember joking with my brother in law that we should race my rental Maxima with his 300. Yea, that really was a joke.

Of course that car has tight leather seats, full GPS system and CD changer. It has a true sunroof and even a factory installed DVD system with a screen that pops up out of the armrest for the rear passengers.

This car makes me question my eternal vows of love for the 911.