The Boat Rental

We love the water. We love to swim in pools or at lakes, or as we recently discovered, in the ocean.

It's all good when you're by the water.

We have made it a yearly tradition to head up to Bear Lake every summer for a week as a family. The boys are little enough that they love just playing in the sand, but they also love it when We rent SeaDoos. I love to rent the fastest SeaDoo that they have. It is such a rush to be going that fast. Someday- hopefully soon- I'd like to head up to the lakes that people tell me are nearby where we now live and rent some.

This last year we also rented a boat for an hour to try that out. Everyone had a blast, except the 4yo, who was pretty freaked out by the entire experience. It ended up being pretty windy that day, and we had 2-3 foot swells. That's pretty big for a little boat with newbie boaters in it. I of course, thought it was great fun and tried to see how much air I could get with the boat.

That had to stop when everyone was screaming for me to stop and I just about gave my wife whiplash. Sorry sweetie! Then I practiced driving along the top of the wave, for a smooth ride. That was pretty fun.

Once the waves died down, it was time to try the tube. The 7yo was the bravest, and hopped right in. You can tell from the photo that he had a blast. He's a pretty good swimmer, but it was a bit scary to let him be out there alone. I didn't try too hard to knock him off the tube with crazy quick turns and such. My wife tried riding the tube, but she had a hard time holding on , so she gave up quickly. At least she tried! She's a good sport.

I really wanted a go at the tube, but that would involve her driving the boat for a bit. She was scared, but she did it for me. I told the boys about having a lookout and holding up the flag if the rider(me) falls off. I was ready to go!

I jumped in the water, which was pretty chilly for August, and pulled myself up on the tube. I smiled and gave the thumbs-up to start the ride. It started slowly with the driver getting used to the controls. I gave the thumbs-up for more speed. She obliged, and off we went. She was really flying and I was really getting a beating. There were still some pretty big waves out there. I was just about knocked off the tube by a big wave and I looked up at the boat. My wife was focused on driving and the kids were focused on what was ahead. No one was focused on me! If I let go, I be adrift in the middle of that lake and they wouldn't even know! I don't think my wife and kids would have been able to find me. I would have been found days later by a steamer from the merchant marines, or something. Maybe the Bear Lake Monster would have eaten me.

On we went, the short train with a caboose of terror. My wife was really getting into the speed, the waves were doing their best to knock me off the tube, and I was holding on for dear life! I was yelling like an American Idol early-rounder, trying to get someones attention. This went on for probably 6 hours (maybe 5-10 minutes) until one of the kids noticed me and told my wife to slow down. My arms and hands were numb, and I was glad the ride was over, but it was still a lot of fun.

Look at me! Capt'n Jefferson!

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New Discoveries

After some thought, I've decided to lift the veil a bit on my personal information. I've been trying to be very obscure about who exactly I am, and my family, and where we live. This is to discourage serial killers and kidnappers from easily finding us. I've decided that I'm going to have a difficult time blogging without at least revealing the location to which I've moved. Here it is (drumroll...) Arizona!

I think that it would be pretty simple to deduce where we've moved from future posts, and I think that anyone who is motivated enough could go through the various family links/blogs and figure out who and where we are. I also really want to talk about the new, fun, cool, bad, frustrating things about a new state and climate.

(Note to any serial killers or kidnappers or whatever- keep this in mind. I'm 6 foot 8 and 250 pounds. I own and practice using handguns. I can also be pretty foul tempered. So step off!)

Here are the main things that really strike me about where I live.

Good things:

• It is beautiful here! Because nothing really grows unless you water, people have to plan what to plant. Even the the landscapes along roadways are carefully designed. I live in a planned community with full time landscapers and they do a great job on all the public areas.

• There are no/few mosquitoes. I can sit outside on my sweet patio in my new sweet patio rocking chair as the sun goes down without bug spray, candles, or fans. This is HUGE for me.

• The weather is wonderful! (Disclaimer, I have only lived here during March and April- I hear the July and August are horrible). The days are sunny and the skies are blue.

• There are lizards in my back yard.

• I have no grass to mow or fertilize. We can walk 100 feet to a huge park with lots of grass.
  

• My yard is beautiful. There is a gorgeous patio and the plants and landscaping are striking. I've seen several cute old ladies stop and look over my yard as they walk by.
  

• I live really close to really nice parks, walking trails, and catch-and-release fishing ponds.
  

• The schools here seem rigorous. The pace of learning and the curriculum seems more serious than where we used to live.
  

• I've been swimming a LOT. There are at least 2 big community pools that we have access to year round, and my bro-in-law has a pool that could be at a resort that we can use whenever.
  

• It has rained three or four times in the 6 weeks we've lived here. Serious amounts of water. I thought this was a desert! The air smells wonderful after the rain.
  

• We're getting a spa in the back yard. Midnight tubbing under the stars.

Bad things:

• The houses here do not have basements. I would think in a place where is routinely hits 100-115 in the summer, the houses would be entirely underground. Like the hatch on Lost. I guess they don't have a frost line to interfere with footings, so they don't need to dig, so they don't. Not having a basement cuts into my storage space significantly.
  

• It's really hard to find a gas station. I think there must be a law that keeps gas stations away from freeway off-ramps, because there are few by the freeway. The ones that I have found are also camouflaged to look less commercial and are therefore harder to spot.
  

• Everything is REALLY far away. Despite living very close to my work, I'm driving much more than I used to. Everything seems to be a half-hour away. We live on the cutting edge of development growing out from the city, so we have to drive to find businesses.
  

• I have killed two cockroaches in my garage. Big ones that look like survivors from a radioactive spill. Yuck! There are also these stupid slow crickets that infest my yard. I guess the lizards like them. I had an exterminator come out and I'm finding lots of dead creepies outside, and found the cockroaches dead, too.
  

• You need to watch out for scorpions. We haven't seen any and they are pretty rare in our area, but they could appear. I'm told the key is to keep their food supply out of your yard (hence the exterminator).
  

• The schools here seem more rigorous. I mean really! Does a 4th grader need 1 to 1.5 hours of homework a night?
  

• My kids are becoming cold wussies. They want jackets when it drops below 70 degrees.
  

I am really happy here. I do wish I wasn't so far from family, but what do you do?

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By the way...

Hasn't Lost been incredible the last few weeks? Now I remember why I liked this show so much. And Heroes?!? That is so amazingly great.

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Well, I'm back!

My last post was on February 21, 2007. Anyone reading this already knows that, because you've all been checking all the time for my newest post. I can only apologize and offer as an explanation that I've totally changed everything in my life! That's not completely true- I still have my sweet wife and 3 awesome kiddies- but everything else has changed.

One of the things that has changed is that I get tired and fall asleep at 11:30. This is a new and unwelcome experience for me. I would get a lot done between 11:30 and 1:30 in my previous life- like blogging! I haven't really come up with a good solution to my lack of blogging time, but hopefully I'll figure something out.

I'll fill you all in on what's been happening over the next while, but I'd like to offer a humorous story for your enjoyment.

The drive to from our old home to our new home is about 12 hours if you go at a decent clip and don't stop too much. We had two cars, both jammed full of breakable belongings and people. But, at least we had our integrated entertainment system in the van for the kiddies. I can't imagine a 1 hour drive without it, let alone a 12 hour drive.

About 4 hours into the drive, we stopped for gas and treats. Upon returning to our vehicles, we made the horrifying discovery that the van wouldn't start. The van's battery had been acting up for the past few months, and I guess the strain of powering the integrated entertainment system was just too much for it. It was dead. As you probably know, when a car is running, it isn't taking any power from the battery, it's actually charging the battery. The battery is only used for starting the car and for running the electrical system when the car isn't running. (disclaimer- this may not actually be true. Ask your father. Actually, ask my father, he is the car guru.)

So, I jump started the van and was faced with a choice- continue the trip having to jump start the van at every stop, or try to find an auto-parts store in the middle of nowhere and get a new battery. It seemed to risky with the family along to do otherwise, so I went in search of a battery.

We located a store within a half hour and I bought the new battery. I had a bunch of tools conveniently packed in an accessible location in the van for such an occasion, so I wasn't too worried about the changeover. I mean, come on, it's a battery- simple job! I unhooked the battery and started dismantling the "clever" battery mounting mechanism.

I can't remember what I wanted to ask my wife, but I walked over to her window and motioned for her to roll it down. She pushed the "down" button and nothing happened. Duh, the battery is unhooked. So I motioned for her to open the door. She pushed the "unlock" button and nothing happened. She looked at my sister (did I mention that my sweet sister sweetly offered to come with us?) and then looked at me with a "now what do I do" look. I stood there in a mild state of amused shock as two grown women discussed how dangerous it was that they were locked in the car, just because the battery was unhooked. Finally, I pointed at the door and mouthed "pull the handle." My wife and sister lost it and laughed at themselves for a long time. Isn't there a pollack joke about being locked in your car?

The battery changeover went quickly and we were back on the road in no time. About 5 minutes after we started driving, I got a phone call- the integrated entertainment system was not working! Then I remembered about the security code: The integrated entertainment system has a security system meant to deter theft. If the radio/DVD player is unhooked from the battery for any reason (including theft or replacement of a battery), the security code must be entered before it will turn on. If you read in the owner's manual, it clearly states that you should not keep the code in the car, in case the car is broken into. Our code was safely not in our car. Our code was safely in our filing cabinet inside the 53 foot trailer with the rest of our stuff hours away from us. There was still something like 10 hours left of our trip. :(

Now, I know that many road trips have been taken with young children without an integrated entertainment system. I know that pioneers walked for months across plains with young children without an integrated entertainment system. I also know that television has only been around a short time compared to the history of man. No one would have died without the integrated entertainment system. However, why should I, a modern man living in 2007, the owner of an integrated entertainment system, have to put up with 10 hours of whining/fighting/yelling/bored/crying children? Can I ask you that? Even worse, the thought of having to subject my sweet wife and sister to such torment. (And then hear about it for days after the fact!) This could not stand.

I called the dealer and begged for help. I explained my situation and begged. "I'm sorry", the uncaring dealer parts man answered, "You have to tear the dash apart and read me the serial number off the radio before I can give you your secret code." Let's think about that statement for a moment. 1) The code is meant to make the radio useless for someone who steals it, 2)if I had stolen the radio I would be able to read the serial number off said radio, 3)With this serial number, I could call the dealer and get the secret code, 4)what the heck!!!

I tried to reason with the uncaring dealer parts man by walking him through steps 1-4. Despite my superior logic skills, he couldn't give me the code without the serial number. Argh! I was not going to tear the dash apart in the middle of our trip.

So off we went, the joy of the trip stolen by a useless security code. I am writing the code on the cover of the manual next time, because anyone who steals my radio is welcome to it. I just need access to the @$$#&4! code just in case I have to replace my battery. My wife and sister were trying random codes. I suppose it was possible that they would stumble on the code since there are only like 500 trillion unique combinations of numbers to input for the code. I guess when you're bored, you'll try anything.

Then my wife decided to have a prayer. You always hear about families stranded in blizzards that have a prayer and just when they finish a tow truck just happens by, saving their lives. This was not such a situation, but it was pretty important to the people trapped in the van of whining. After praying, my wife remembered that she had put the secret code in my planner. She grabbed the planner, and there it was!!! The day was saved.

The battery worked well for the rest of the trip, and continues to work to this day. That is important, otherwise my wife might just die from heat exhaustion after being locked in there :)

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