Battlestar Galactica: A Critique

Ah, Battlestar Galactica. As a kid I really loved to watch the zany antics of those crazy space adventurers with their rag-tag fleet. Watching the old episodes today is so painful. The plots, special effects, and acting is so poor, I can barely watch.

I was excited when the new series for the SciFi channel was announced. And I was pleasantly surprised when it turned into a great show. The acting is first-rate, the special effects often rival cinema quality and the plotlines in general are believable and engaging. What really works is that the show doesn't use the science fiction elements as a crutch. What I mean is that the fact that the people are in space, fighting self-aware robots, is almost a side issue. The story could be set in a completely different place and still work. For example, it could be set as the survivors of a destroyed village in southeast Asia in the 1700s trying to make their way to safety while being chased by soldiers from an invading empire. The technology really doesn't affect the story.

Sadly, there are problems with the story. Let's start with the basics of the plot. I apologize in advance if this gets too wordy- I really am leaving a lot out.

The basic story is that the humans created sentient machines to serve them (the Cylons). Didn't these future humans ever watch the Terminator, or the Matrix? Creating intelligent machines is never a good idea. The film-challenged humans were surprised when the machines turned against them. The surprise didn't last long, because the Cyclons nuked the billions of humans on the 12 planets and basically everyone was killed. The only survivors were on interplanetary spacecraft that banded together in a rag-tag convoy, led by a surviving military craft named Galactica. There are only 50,000 humans left alive. The entire human race is at risk because the Cylons are hot on their trail. The humans do have a goal, however. They want to find the lost 13th colony- a planet called Earth!

The biggest problem that I have with the show is that the writers for the show apparently didn't think through all of the implications of this setup. If this scenario were to actually occur, the military leader would instantly impose martial law. Food and other supplies would be rationed and personal freedoms would be sharply curtailed. Survival of the fleet and humanity would be the only concern. Individual complaints would be ignored or, more likely, eradicated to prevent any rebellion.

The writers, however, are especially concerned with the preservation of the civil rights of the surviving humans. For example, one of the early plotlines dealt with a woman who wanted an abortion. The only concerns expressed by anyone in the episode were the freedom of choice for the liberated, modern woman and the (irrational) beliefs of the religious leaders. Come on! There are only 50,000 human beings left in existence! Most of the survivors seem to be in their 20s and thirties- the biological clock is ticking, people! Any pregnancy would be critical. The government would create special privileges for any woman who was able to get pregnant, and any woman who attempted an abortion would be severely punished. I'm supposed to believe that these survivors are going to give a rats-behind about civil rights while constantly being attacked by Cylons, scrabbling for food, and trying to get an appointment with the doctor for your painful eczema?

Oh, wait, there appears to be only one surviving doctor. One doctor for 50,000 people? And this doctor seems to be well into his 50s. Wow, that has got to be a high priority. That doctor needs to be spending long hours training every bright young kid how to be a medic. It's hard enough to be seen by a doctor where I live and there are a lot more doctors here than 1 per 50,000 people. Think of the disease that could spread through the crowded ships. One doctor could easily be busy full-time just handling day-to-day stuff like broken bones and listening to coughs. Who is going to do the well-baby checkups and the daily visits by the hypochondriacs?

At least those people that can't see the doctor can go to the press with their complaints. There seem to be at least 50 reporters questioning every decision made by the military at the frequent press conferences. No way. Those reporters would be just as busy as everyone else standing in lines for their rations. And the military wouldn't have time for press conferences while trying to fight the enemy, find earth, and keeping the civilians fed, healthy, and calm. Lets go back to my southeast Asian survivors. What would happen to someone that constantly sniped and complained about the few soldiers leading and protecting them through the jungle? Pshaw! Reporters could get with the program or stay behind.

And then there is the stuff that just doesn't make sense. For example, a recent episode has a group of Cylons becoming infected with a virus that kills them quickly and painfully. (Did I mention that some of the Cylons are biological robots that are indistinguishable from humans?) It appears that the humans are immune to this new virus. [One bit of background info: When a biological Cylon dies, it's memories are uploaded via the intergalactic wi-fi network to a special ship where the software is loaded into an new, empty Cylon. ] This episode deals with the option of killing all the Cylons by killing some infected Cylon prisoners in range of the special wi-fi/birthing ship. This act would somehow transfer not only the memories and personality of the dead Cylon, but the biological virus, as well. This would then spread through all the Cylons throughout the galaxy. They never really explained the details of how this would occur. I guess the writers had heard of computer viruses and got them confused with the viruses that make bodies sick. I mean, when was the last time your computer sneezed? You can't email a chest cold. You'd think that science fiction writers would at least pass their plot ideas past a scientist or two.

The last nit-pick I have has to do with the fact that everyone and everything that the survivors have ever know has been destroyed! Their parents, spouses, children, coworkers, neighbors, and pets have all be slaughtered. Their homes, cars, careers, 401ks, and favorite vacation spots have been lost. They've been crowded into cramped quarters with a bunch of people that they don't know and have to get along with. I find it odd that no one seems to care. No one ever cries, freaks out, or even seems depressed. After an early scene showing a 'memory wall' with pictures of the dead and farewell notes, nothing is ever said about it. Everyone has put their losses behind them and are moving forward. It would seem that the survivors are, to a man, extremely well adjusted people.

So, the bottom line is that I am way too critical. I try to just enjoy shows like this but silly mistakes like this pull me out of my immersion in the story. Come on writers, think these things through a little more.

And please, keep the shows coming!