Well, I'm back!

My last post was on February 21, 2007. Anyone reading this already knows that, because you've all been checking all the time for my newest post. I can only apologize and offer as an explanation that I've totally changed everything in my life! That's not completely true- I still have my sweet wife and 3 awesome kiddies- but everything else has changed.

One of the things that has changed is that I get tired and fall asleep at 11:30. This is a new and unwelcome experience for me. I would get a lot done between 11:30 and 1:30 in my previous life- like blogging! I haven't really come up with a good solution to my lack of blogging time, but hopefully I'll figure something out.

I'll fill you all in on what's been happening over the next while, but I'd like to offer a humorous story for your enjoyment.

The drive to from our old home to our new home is about 12 hours if you go at a decent clip and don't stop too much. We had two cars, both jammed full of breakable belongings and people. But, at least we had our integrated entertainment system in the van for the kiddies. I can't imagine a 1 hour drive without it, let alone a 12 hour drive.

About 4 hours into the drive, we stopped for gas and treats. Upon returning to our vehicles, we made the horrifying discovery that the van wouldn't start. The van's battery had been acting up for the past few months, and I guess the strain of powering the integrated entertainment system was just too much for it. It was dead. As you probably know, when a car is running, it isn't taking any power from the battery, it's actually charging the battery. The battery is only used for starting the car and for running the electrical system when the car isn't running. (disclaimer- this may not actually be true. Ask your father. Actually, ask my father, he is the car guru.)

So, I jump started the van and was faced with a choice- continue the trip having to jump start the van at every stop, or try to find an auto-parts store in the middle of nowhere and get a new battery. It seemed to risky with the family along to do otherwise, so I went in search of a battery.

We located a store within a half hour and I bought the new battery. I had a bunch of tools conveniently packed in an accessible location in the van for such an occasion, so I wasn't too worried about the changeover. I mean, come on, it's a battery- simple job! I unhooked the battery and started dismantling the "clever" battery mounting mechanism.

I can't remember what I wanted to ask my wife, but I walked over to her window and motioned for her to roll it down. She pushed the "down" button and nothing happened. Duh, the battery is unhooked. So I motioned for her to open the door. She pushed the "unlock" button and nothing happened. She looked at my sister (did I mention that my sweet sister sweetly offered to come with us?) and then looked at me with a "now what do I do" look. I stood there in a mild state of amused shock as two grown women discussed how dangerous it was that they were locked in the car, just because the battery was unhooked. Finally, I pointed at the door and mouthed "pull the handle." My wife and sister lost it and laughed at themselves for a long time. Isn't there a pollack joke about being locked in your car?

The battery changeover went quickly and we were back on the road in no time. About 5 minutes after we started driving, I got a phone call- the integrated entertainment system was not working! Then I remembered about the security code: The integrated entertainment system has a security system meant to deter theft. If the radio/DVD player is unhooked from the battery for any reason (including theft or replacement of a battery), the security code must be entered before it will turn on. If you read in the owner's manual, it clearly states that you should not keep the code in the car, in case the car is broken into. Our code was safely not in our car. Our code was safely in our filing cabinet inside the 53 foot trailer with the rest of our stuff hours away from us. There was still something like 10 hours left of our trip. :(

Now, I know that many road trips have been taken with young children without an integrated entertainment system. I know that pioneers walked for months across plains with young children without an integrated entertainment system. I also know that television has only been around a short time compared to the history of man. No one would have died without the integrated entertainment system. However, why should I, a modern man living in 2007, the owner of an integrated entertainment system, have to put up with 10 hours of whining/fighting/yelling/bored/crying children? Can I ask you that? Even worse, the thought of having to subject my sweet wife and sister to such torment. (And then hear about it for days after the fact!) This could not stand.

I called the dealer and begged for help. I explained my situation and begged. "I'm sorry", the uncaring dealer parts man answered, "You have to tear the dash apart and read me the serial number off the radio before I can give you your secret code." Let's think about that statement for a moment. 1) The code is meant to make the radio useless for someone who steals it, 2)if I had stolen the radio I would be able to read the serial number off said radio, 3)With this serial number, I could call the dealer and get the secret code, 4)what the heck!!!

I tried to reason with the uncaring dealer parts man by walking him through steps 1-4. Despite my superior logic skills, he couldn't give me the code without the serial number. Argh! I was not going to tear the dash apart in the middle of our trip.

So off we went, the joy of the trip stolen by a useless security code. I am writing the code on the cover of the manual next time, because anyone who steals my radio is welcome to it. I just need access to the @$$#&4! code just in case I have to replace my battery. My wife and sister were trying random codes. I suppose it was possible that they would stumble on the code since there are only like 500 trillion unique combinations of numbers to input for the code. I guess when you're bored, you'll try anything.

Then my wife decided to have a prayer. You always hear about families stranded in blizzards that have a prayer and just when they finish a tow truck just happens by, saving their lives. This was not such a situation, but it was pretty important to the people trapped in the van of whining. After praying, my wife remembered that she had put the secret code in my planner. She grabbed the planner, and there it was!!! The day was saved.

The battery worked well for the rest of the trip, and continues to work to this day. That is important, otherwise my wife might just die from heat exhaustion after being locked in there :)